Church folks, I need to say something. STOP making fun of, speculating about, and studying-like-we-are-bugs people who can’t stay. Of people who identify as “spiritual but not religious.”
In the last year, I’ve basically disaffiliated from the church who raised, formed, educated and loved me for years. It’s been a hard transition, and I think about it every day. every single day. This has been the HARDEST breakup of my life by far.
Listen, I get it. Spiritual but not religious is a false divide, community is essential and not losing traditions that are life sustaining is important. But…
I was abused by individuals, communities and laws of the church. I went broke working for the church. I was called unimaginably horrible names for my integrity, my stand for inclusion, for believing women should be ordained. Even some of my friends showed themselves to be more interested in comfort than truth, or easy solutions that holding space for real grief.
I also knew some of the most incredible people, congregations and love within the church. Integrity without end and gospel truth unbounded. Disappointment arising from belief that better is possible.
I’m spiritual but not religious, not affiliated with a local or global Christian community, deeply evangelical but hate that word. And I’m tired of having that position be the favorite punching bag of comfortable (and slightly uncomfortable) church people.
I have all the respect in the world for those of you who stay. Bless you, and thank you. I hope someday my return will be the fruit of your labor.
You don’t know my story. Don’t make assumptions.
(p.s. I’m Happy. I’m Healing. And I’m infinitely grateful for my beloveds who support me).